lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
