Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So vagazzling was a success
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
