On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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