You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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