Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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