hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
