So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
