So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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