The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
