that's an acceptable place to lick
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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