It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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