Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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