Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
