we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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