She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
