Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
