Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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