She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
