He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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