i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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