I hate your face
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
