I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
