I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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