Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sorry my hands just texted you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
