I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
