I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's the barista slut.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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