Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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