Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
