U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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