why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
