Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
