Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
wow bdsm is so cute
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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