Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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