So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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