yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
