Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I didn't notice because vodka
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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