And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
