loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
