Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
