I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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