Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
