omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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