i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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