Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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