I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
