She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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