why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
