I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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