hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
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