im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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